Inhalers baffle me.
I don't think I use mine properly. I do what I'm supposed to do, but I feel like I'm just getting that puff into my cheeks and not where it should be... say, my lungs. I don't like being fettered to it either. I feel... debilitated when I have it with me. I never expected to get it- after all, I was an athlete's athlete when I was younger. Then my pregnancy wipes me clear off the map and I utterly flunk that breathing test blow-out-the-candles game at the doctor back in March. Close to 100 is the goal? I made it to 62 as my "high score" out of a few tries. Not good at all. Now I have my little buddy who tags along to all my endurance exercises, like track repeats, HIIT fun, and swimming. Sigh.
I think the important thing to write about is Hito's big neuro appointment this week. They had a cancellation and got us in almost a week ahead of schedule. I'm not a big fan of doctors (but I have the utmost respect for them). They tend to be cocky and not very patient (like the one who told Fireman and me, "since you didn't go to medical school..."). This guy was completely different- he sat, listened, and was empathetic to our concerns. Hito perfomed well- he showed good fine motor skills and very good cognitive abilities. Where did he flunk? Yes, you guessed it! Gross motor. Now it's not a guessing game anymore- he's definitely hypotonic and on the low end of that (and as a result, he has delayed reflexes). Based on everything, the neuro said he was pretty confident it wouldn't be life-threatening or progressive. I was relieved to hear this (since I had been crying over these dark fears for some time), but I wasn't as relieved as I thought I would be. I guess I had been hoping he'd laugh at us for being there because there wasn't really a problem, that we were being "paranoid first-time parents." Alas, we are not paranoid and he is concerned, so we're waiting to have an MRI and blood work done in a few weeks. I hate seeing Hito get worked on like a car. I hate it. Hate is a strong word, caustic almost, but in this case, it fully defines and clarifies how I feel about Hito going through this. They have to apparently sedate him and I'm not happy about that in any way, especially since I can't tolerate stuff like that for me. (Case in point: When I had my appendix burst in 2008, after surgery, I refused pain meds. I couldn't handle how they felt). At this point, I want the tests to come back saying, "hey, this kid's gonna be ok." Benign Congenital Hypotnia? Sounds good to me. I just want to know he's going to be ok to grow up and out run me.
I ran Fartleks that night. I guess you can tell how frustrated I was that I actually voluntarily ran Fartleks. Ok, so they were the 100 stride version, but it was tough nonetheless. I ran them, I ran them hard, and my right calf was screaming as I finished the last one. I immediately put them straight up after and I swear I could feel the blood ripping through my calf. Fireman won't diagnose me (and legally can't since he's a paramedic, but I believe in him!), but I'm thinking it's either shin-splints (can you get those on the side in one spot?) or a muscle pull. Or maybe a stress fracture, but I'm ruling the last one out because after not doing any XT or weights, it was way better today even after doing a track workout.
The run before the neuro appointment was really good too. Not only did I manage to run in the A.M. (because I'm usually too lazy... like today when I got up at 11:30A), but I rain almost 5k under 30:00 (or maybe I did hit it... I can't trust my watch sometime). Either way, it was a great run (with music), and I felt powerful and ready to take on that neuro visit. The recurring song was "Reborn" by Rebecca St. James*. I don't know why, but that song really was good for that moment. Madonna did help a bit too.
Today we had PT for Hito and he took 2 steps assisted by the therapy table! I swear, we are making progress regardless of what the docs and therapists are saying. I know my son will amaze everyone and I know our constant attention to his movements and therapy have to be effective. It's also nice to know that our insurance is actually going to re-process the really big claim for the therapy, since that was a big number on that bill that I knew didn't make sense. Kids are expensive. Really.
Today Fireman and I also did our "track date" repeat together. He does his crazy 440's routine, and I did my 5x800's (per FIRST). I didn't have my band on, so I was forced to use my phone (very inaccurate). Not having a watch is not good for me- I am not accountable to meeting my "time obligations" if I don't know where I am at 200m, 400m, and 600m. I was supposed to be about 4:50 and ended up being closer to 5:30 for 3/5 because "it felt like I was going hard." Fireman gave me his watch and lo and behold- I stuck to my times better (but not by much). Granted, the heat index was 99*F (and this was partly sunny at like 6p. Gotta love Florida). However, I didn't take walk breaks during the repeats (only during the RI) and I think that what's going to make a difference in my long run this weekend and my tempo runs next week.
7.5 this weekend. My dad and I have been talking about it all week. Very excited, especially since I found a decent 2x8oz fuel belt for $15 at Marshalls. I know it's love/hate with those, but hey, it's good for my budget since Hito takes up most of it. Speaking of budgets, we should be well under my "birthday budget" for my road bike. The fitting went really well- sometimes you do need to talk to a pro and not just people on internet forums. I'm excited to add road cycling to my XT (because spinning gets boring after a while).
I've stayed up late again... sigh. Hito and Fireman are in bed, but it's too hot to sleep since our A/C is slowly dying. With two fans and a ceiling fan, it's noisy in our room! I need to get to sleep though, because we have an early drive to the coast to see my folks since Fireman is on shift tomorrow. It's my last weekend of freedom because orientation for law school starts Monday A.M...
Until Saturday's long, long run.
*If you guessed correctly about the song, yes, it's Christian music that I was rocking out to, as I'm Catholic. No, this is not a way to preach the Gospel- I should be able to do that without words (if I'm good). St. Francis was a pretty smart guy, no?
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